How Can I Not Love You
by XxScarletPhantomxX
Summary: While dueling the Dark Lord Draco thinks about why Harry said to put their love on hold songfic two-shot
1. How Can I Not Love You

Yay! my first fanfic for you guys! this just kinda came to me while I was listening to this song so I started writing and voila!  
**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot!  
Warning: this is boy/boy. Don't like don't read. It's that simple.**

Enjoy!

_Can not touch  
Can not hold  
Can not be together  
Can not love  
Can not kiss  
Can not have each other_

You told me you loved me, but that we couldn't be together. It wasn't safe and you weren't sure that you'd make it through the war. Now as I watch you fight, I'm filled with anger. I want to help you, but you won't let me. You're too afraid of what he'd do, but you don't understand that he's already come between us.

_Must be strong  
And we must let go  
Cannot say  
what our hearts must know_

I should stand here indifferent like all of the other Death Eaters, eager to see the victor, but I can't because I'm too worried about you. It hurts to act like I don't care, when all I really want is to help you kill the Dark Lord and then snog you senseless like I use to do when it was just the e two of us alone together. You keep glancing at me, and though my mask is like stone you must know that in my heart I love you.

_How can I not love you?  
What do I tell my heart?  
When do I not want you  
Here in my arms?  
How does one waltz away  
From all of the memories?  
How do I not miss you  
When you are gone?_

You've fallen to the floor. For one wild minute I thought you were dead, and that's when I lost all control. I ran to confront him for I had had enough. You scream at me to run away, but I can't move. I won't. It's time this ended. Then maybe we can finally be together.

"Draco what are you doing?!" your voices clash together, yet they couldn't be more different. Yours was fearful and pleading, asking me to run away. His was angry and demanding that I move or be killed. Surprisingly my voice was calm and it shocked the both of you. "No, this ends now."

I suspected, for I couldn't see your face, that your emerald eyes were wide with fear and anger. If we live to see tomorrow I'm sure you and your damn hero complex will beat the shite out of me for this. Voldemort only laughed. "Fine, I'll kill you both."

_Can not dream  
Can not share  
Sweet and tender moments  
Can not feel  
How we feel  
Must pretend it's over_

I thought about all the lazy days, and care free nights I spent with you. The dreams we shared, the conversations we had, and the passion we felt, while I dueled the Dark Lord. He sent hex after hex at me which I dodged or counter cursed. You watched worriedly from the sidelines dying to help me but didn't. Knowing I wouldn't let you. So you pretended to be indifferent (or tried to). However your eyes betrayed every emotion you felt: anger, courage, fear, determination, worry, and love.

That last emotion was enough for me to throw a few well aimed hexes. I can almost hear you arguing with me on that. _'I'd hardly call those well aimed, Dray, even if you did manage to hit those death eaters.'_ I would laugh if I wasn't in danger of dying. Maybe if I do die then Old Death could have a nice laugh about it with me. Yet I hope that's a laugh that will have to wait until I've spent a long life with you.

"Very good, Draco, but not good enough. This is how a true master does it. Diffendo!"

_Must be brave  
And we must go on  
Must not say  
What we've known all along_

With each wave of his wand a new gash on my body ripped open. However I kept on fighting, dancing like a mad man, trying to throw off his curses, even though I was in excruciating pain. I would not stop. Suddenly he turned and pointing his wand at you he screamed "Crucio!"

"No!" as I ran to you I knew it was trap, but I didn't care. Voldemort be damned, screw your hero complex, and damn my pride and the name Malfoy to hell. I was almost two seconds too late. Almost. Just as I reached you he turned his wand on me and the Cruciatus curse hit me. Waves of pain ran through me like white hot lightening. I kept my mouth shut as best as I could, not wanting to give that sadistic lunatic the pleasure of hearing me scream _and _see me thrash around.

I won't lie to you, love, this hurts as bad as the day you said that we had to end it and keep pretending to be enemies for my sake. I'm sorry, Harry, but you're a git. A stupid, idiotic, git. How can I not love you? How can I not love everything about you? How do I pretend to hate you when I'm watching you dance with death? When I'm afraid you'll go somewhere I can't follow? Tell me, love, how?

_How can I not love you?  
What do I tell my heart?  
When do I not want you  
Here in my arms?  
How does one waltz away  
From all of the memories?  
How do I not miss you  
When you are gone?  
How can I not love you?_

Gone. The pain is gone. I can vaguely hear you shouting and swearing. Honestly, love, you didn't pick up that nasty habit from me did you? Cussing like a Malfoy to the Dark Lord, dear me, Harry what will they say in the _Prophet_ tomorrow? Okay I think I'm suffering post death insanity or something now. I hear more spells flying, then sweet silence before the hall erupts into cheers and screams.

I roll over, noting the size of the bloody pool I've made, to see Voldemort dead on the floor. Everyone is trying to hug you, thank you, but you shrug them off and run straight for me, hope mixed with fear on your face. I want to hug you, wipe that awful look off of your face, but I won't cause lets face it, love, I don't have much longer.

_Must be brave  
And we must be strong  
Can not say  
What we've known all along_

"Draco! Oh Merlin, Draco why did you do that?" you kiss me repeatedly much to the shock of the spectators. Those piercing green eyes looked straight into mine as my arms slowly wrapped around your waist. "You're gonna be fine, Dray." You said reassuringly. I smiled and raised my hand to your face, you lean into my touch. "Harry, love, you never did possess my natural raw talent of lying."

You were shaking and you laid your head on my shoulder. "Please, Draco, stay with me. Don't leave me." I sighed, running my hand through your wild raven hair. "I'll try, Harry, but it hurts really badly." I noticed as I said this that it was really cold. I started shivering. You looked up at my face, with tears streaming down your own. "Draco? No please, Dray, I love you." I smiled wider for that was all I wanted to hear, every single day that I had to endure without you. Those days were complete torture for me.

_How can I not love you?  
What do I tell my heart?  
When do I not want you  
Here in my arms?  
How does one waltz away  
From all of the memories?  
How do I not miss you  
When you are gone?  
How can I not love you…_

Suddenly my grip on you slackened as my vision grew darker. "Draco? Draco!" I looked at you and smiled. "Harry, I love you too." Everything went black. "Draco? NO!"

_When you are gone?_

Well i hope you like it! I'll get the next part up there soon i hope

Please review!


	2. Far Away

Okay I'm not sure I did this part justice so just bare with me.

I'd like to thank Ibbet who enjoyed the last chapter and left me a very awesome review. You rock!! Also I'd like to thank anyone else who liked it and are dying to read this part.

**Disclaimer: I do not own H.P. and the song belongs to Nickelback**

**Warning: mild fluff. Boy/boy. And mild swearing.**

One more thing and we'll get on with it incase anyone wants to know the song in the last chapter is sung by Joy Enriquez. I forgot to tell you that.

Anyways Enjoy!!

_This Time, This Place_

_Misused, Mistakes_

_Too long, too late_

_Who was I to make you wait?_

I sat by your bad waiting for you to come back to me. Pomfrey said that she had fixed you up to the best of her ability now you just needed to wake up. I wish you would, Dray, because I have some things to say to you. I made a mistake, Dray and today's events with the Dark Lord made me realize it. I was stupid to split us up and I took too long to come back to you. I never should have made 'us' wait until the Dark Lord was dead. It wouldn't have mattered that we were far apart we still would have been together. I wouldn't have almost lost you in more ways then one. But your act of heroism proved to me that you still loved me. Now though I wonder if it's too late to apologize.

_Just one chance _

_Just one breath_

_Just incase there's just one left_

_Cause you know, you know, you know_

Now I'm waiting to see if I've lost you forever and for good. I have no doubt that you would've done the same thing you did today if we had been together, but I wonder if it would have ended sooner? Or if it would have been different? If Voldemort would've found out and used you as bait to lure me to him? I would've taken it, no questions asked. I'd do anything to save you, Draco, and you know it. So how can I save you now? I have no idea and _that _makes me feel really stupid.

I keep thinking that there's a chance you won't wake up. That each breath you take might be your last. It also doesn't help that Poppy told me that as she healed you, your body showed she found telltale signs of torture. Believe me if I could take it all back, you know I would. You know I would do anything for you, Dray and I wish I could tell you this and more.

_That I love you_

_I have loved you all along_

_And I have missed you_

_Been far away for far too long_

_I keep dreaming you'll be with me _

_And you'll never go_

_Stop breathing if_

_I don't see you anymore_

"I love you, Dray." I said quietly, running my hand through your platinum blond hair. You stirred and your eyes fluttered open. My heart stopped as I watched you take my hand in yours and those beautiful stormy gray eyes find mine. "Harry." I gave a cry of joy and jumped out of my chair to embrace you as my heart started beating properly again. You hugged me back as I said 'I love you' over and over again with tears streaming down my face. You whispered soothingly "I love you too, harry. Now stop crying I'm alright." I sniffled and replied "But I almost lost you, Dray. I couldn't handle it if I lost you." You scooted over and made room for me to lie down beside you.

While we laid there we talked about our long term separation, the final battle, and your torture. "It was mostly done by Voldemort when he was pissed. I thought I was a goner when he found out you where destroying his horcruxes." You said quietly, twirling my hair. "I'm sorry, love if I could take it all back you know I would." I said shaking with anger. How dare that sadistic bastard hurt my Dray! I dare anyone else to give it a try while I'm around. Because I'm not going that far away again at least not without you. I missed you too much and now that I have you back, I'm not giving you up. It would hurt too much.

_On my knees I'll ask_

_Last chance for one last dance _

_Cause with you I'd withstand _

_All of hell to hold your hand_

_I'd give it all_

_I'd give for us_

_Give anything, but I won't give up_

_Cause you know, _

_You know, you know_

I guess I fell asleep because the next thing I knew I was waking up to an empty bed. I almost started freaking out when Poppy came over to tell that she had dismissed you from her care and to go to the celebration feast. I swore a little as I ran down to the Great Hall.

I should be used to this for there had been many mornings when I woke up to find you gone before I was quite done with you. I suppose that's part of the sneaky little Slytherin you are. When I made it to the Great Hall, I found Ron and Hermione standing outside the doors, snogging. Well at least they can, I'm too damn busy trying to find you. If you want a decent snogging sometime tonight then you better appear like magic very soon.

Just as I was about to go in, Hermione unglued herself long enough to say, "He's outside down by the lake." I muttered a quick thanks and hastily left. I love you guys, but honestly we're in a huge castle, I'm sure there's a vacant alcove somewhere.

I ran outside to the spot by the lake where I knew you would be. And voila there you were sitting underneath our favorite tree. (Hey that rhymes!) You were staring across the lake toward the sunset. I leaned against the tree and said "Since I just went through Hell and back to be with you, I'd suggest not disappearing. You might miss out." You looked up startled and then you laughed. "On what, pray tell?"

I smiled. "On this." I pressed my lips to yours. It was gentle at first, but soon became heated as though months of separation had finally taken their toll on us both. When we finally broke apart, we both turned to stare out into the golden sun sinking behind tall gray mountains and the Forbidden Forest.

_So far away_

_Been far away for far too long_

_But you know, you know, you know,_

"I'm sorry." I said, breaking the peaceful silence. You looked at me, confused. "For what?" I grimaced. "For separating us."

You frowned. "Harry, love, if you hadn't things would've been worse. We might even be dead now if Voldemort had found out a lot earlier." I sighed. "I know, but you could've died today, Draco. Do you know how bad I would feel knowing the last I told you was 'that it's best that you don't love me anymore.'? Merlin, I felt like shite for saying that. Still do, actually." You smirked.

"Speaking of which, love, you need to tell me how." I blinked in confusion. "How?"

"How to not love you, for how can I not?" I paused, thinking over this good point. "I have no clue." I replied, tracing intricate patterns on your arms with my thumbs. The sun finally sank and you replied, "I'm glad. I don't think I want to stop loving you, but I do suggest not going away again, unless I go with you." You said that half jokingly, and half seriously I chuckled. " I promise, Dray." You smiled one of your rare, true smiles.

"Good then I forgive you for asking me to not love you." The stars came out one by one. It was truly a peaceful night.

_I need to hear you say_

_That I love you _

_I have loved you all along_

_And I forgive you _

_For being far away for far too long_

_So keep breathing_

_Cause I'm not leaving you anymore_

I leaned against you and smiled all the wider. "I love you, Dray." You leaned down and kissed my forehead. "I love you too, Harry." I closed my eyes. "Stay with me?" you smiled again.

"Always."

_Believe it_

_Hold on to me and never let me go_

Please tell me what you think and I might be persuaded to do one or two more!

Thanks!!


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